ITS ALL ABOUT ME NOW....

EVEN IF I TRIED I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN WHY I FEEL SO WEIRD LATELY.

I JUST DON'T CARE ANY MORE.

I WAS LOOKING THROUGH AN OLD BOX IN THE GARAGE WHERE I HAD PUT AWAY SOME OLD JOURNALS AND PICTURES ALONG WITH MY YEARBOOKS

FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND BOY O BOY DID I START REMINISCING AGAIN!

I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE SOME OF THE THINGS I WROTE ON THE JOURNALS AND SOME OF THE OLD FUNNY PICTURES AND THE STUPID YEARS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

THE THINGS I HAD WRITTEN ON THE JOURNALS WERE THE MOST SHOCKING THINGS THAT UNTIL RIGHT NOW HAVE ME SAYING TO MYSELF: " I WAS SO DAMN STUPID"

IT WAS MOSTLY ABOUT EX-BOYFRIENDS AND THE WAY I WAS THINKING AND FELT AT THAT MOMENT.. BUT MAN I WAS STARTLED. I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT ALL THESE YEARS IVE LET A GUY HAVE CONTROL OF HOW I FELT AND THOUGHT.

WHY DID I EVEN PUT SO MUCH THOUGHT IN WHAT THEY THOUGHT????

FUNNY QUESTION HUH?

WELL LET ME SAY THATS OVER AND DONE WITH...

I WILL SLEEP ON DRY PILLOWS NOW IN A BED BIG ENOUGH TO LOVE MYSELF IN!

ALL THIS TIME ALL IVE EVER WANTED WAS SOMEONE TO LOVE ME WITH THE SAME PASSION I KNOW I COULD LOVE WITH, BUT I KEPT ON LETTING THE WRONG MEN IN.

I NEVER TOOK THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE THROUGHLY AND THATS WHERE IT ALL FAILED.

WE WOMEN TEND TO FALL FOR THE SWEET TALK, THE NICE GESTURES, THE LOOKS, THE TOUCHES ETC....

BUT WE FAIL TO GET TO KNOW AND FIND OUT IF HE IS REALLY WORTH OUR TIME!

WE ALSO START BUILDING THIS FAKE FANTASY IN OUR MINDS AND HEAR WEDDING BELLS AND PICTURE THE WEDDING NOT KNOWING HOW HE REALLY IS.

WE GET CAUGHT UP IN THAT MOMENT OF HAPPINESS AND THEN REGRET WHAT WE GET OURSELVES INTO.

BUT AS FOR ME MY WEIRD FEELING LATELY IS MORE OF AN IMPERVIOUS STATE OF MIND.

SURE I WANT TO HAVE A BOY FRIEND AND ALL THAT JAZZ THAT COMES WITH IT. BUT I AM CONTENT FOR RIGHT NOW AND I AM SO EXCITED FOR WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS IN STORE FOR ME...

AND FOR NOW ITS ALL ABOUT ME!!!!!