LIFE EXPERIENCES HAVE TAUGHT ME LESSONS THAT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET.

SOME HAVE BRUISED ME, SOME HAVE MADE ME FALL, AND SOME HAVE BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEES IN AGONY OF NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO....

EVER FELT THAT WAY????

LIKE 2 YEARS AGO WHEN I FOUND OUT MY MOTHER HAD CANCER.

THIS YEAR THE CANCER HAS RETURNED.

IT IS VERY PAINFUL TO SEE SOMEONE YOU LOVE SO MUCH GO THROUGH THIS.

WHEN I HEAR HER CRYING IN PAIN I BREAK INSIDE WANTING TO HELP HER BUT NOT BEING ABLE TO DO NOTHING FOR HER...

THIS NEW CHEMOTHERAPY THAT IS BEING GIVEN TO HER IS CAUSING HER TO BREAK OUT & DRYING HER SKIN.

THE RADIATION TREATMENT IS BY FAR THE WORST!

IT MAKES HER SUPER WEAK, NAUCIOUS, AND IT MAKES HER MOUTH DRY.

SHE IS SLOWLY LOOSING HER TASTE BUDS AND SALIVA.

IMAGINE THAT??? SHE IS NOT ABLE TO ENJOY ALL HER FAVORITE FOODS ANYMORE AND AS A RESULT OF THAT SHE HAS LOST AN AMAZING AMOUNT OF WEIGHT.

SHE NO LONGER LOOKS THE SAME OF COURSE NOR ACTS THE SAME, TALKS, WALKS ETC....

IT HAS BEEN SUCH A DIFFICULT YEAR NOT JUST FOR HER BUT FOR US HER FAMILY ALSO.

ALL THE WORRYING THAT WE GO THROUGH HAS BROUGHT ABOUT MAJOR ANXIETY AND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS IN THE HOSPITAL...

I GUESS I REALLY AM MEANT TO LIVE UP TO MY NAME " DOLORES" WHICH MEANS PAIN IN SPANISH BECAUSE THATS ALL I HAVE BEEN THROUGH PAIN!

THERE IS SO MUCH BEHIND MY SMILE THAT I WILL NEVER SHOW...

ALL THE HURT IVE BEEN THROUGH IVE BECOME AMMUNE TO IT ALREADY AND AS SAD AS THIS MAY SOUND I NO LONGER EXPECT HAPPINESS I ONLY WAIT FOR PAIN...

BECAUSE THATS ALL I'LL EVER SEE FOR I HAVE SEEN NO OTHER THAN THAT.

I WONDER WHEN ALL OF THIS WILL BE OVER.

I JUST HOPE WE ALL STAY STRONG THROUGH ALL OF THIS AND ESPECIALLY MY MOTHER WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH ALOT.

YESTERDAY AROUND MIDNIGHT SHE AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT CHEMO AND ALL THE THINGS THAT THEY DO TO HER AND SHE STARTED CRYING TELLING ME THAT SHE WAS LYING DOWN ON HER BED AND HOW WHEN SHE OPENED HER EYES SHE SAW HER MOM LOOKING AT HER AND SHE SAID " YOUR GRANDMA CAME TO VISIT ME".

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT I THAT MADE ME THINK THE WORST.

MY GRANDMOTHER IS DEAD AND IN MEXICO WHEN THAT HAPPENS PEOPLE USUALLY SAY THAT IT IS BECAUSE THE DEAD ARE CALLING THEM, BUT WHO KNOWS MAYBE ITS ALL IN MY HEAD AND IM JUST THINKING THE WORST.

OVERALL ITS ALL IN YAHS HANDS!