"CHANGE HAS COME"

YESTERDAY I SLEPT FOR 12 HOURS!!!

IVE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE NOR DID I THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE!

ANYWHO...

MANY THINGS ARE CHANGING IN MY LIFE ESPECIALLY INSIDE OF ME.

THE MORE I CONTINUE TO GO TO CHURCH THE MORE I FEEL GOD WORKING IN ME.

LETTING GO OF THINGS AND PEOPLE WHICH ARENT GOOD FOR ME SEEMS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

I HONESTLY THOUGHT ID BE SOBBING ALL DAY EVERYDAY BUT I HAVE COME TO KNOW NOW THAT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL.

IN FACT I FEEL THIS WEIRD BUT GOOD FEELING OF EXPECTATION.

AS IF SOMETHING SO GOOD IS HEADED MY WAY.

SOMETHING BEYOND I COULD EVER THINK OF.

ALTHOUGH I KNOW THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER IS APPROACHING AND THAT WILL BE A HEARTBREAKING MOMENT FOR ME BUT HAVING THE GREAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT I HAVE WILL LESSEN MY PAIN.

I FEEL LIKE ALL THE PAIN THAT I HAVE EXPERIENCED IN THE PAST WAS PREPARING ME FOR THE DAY MY MOTHER WILL PASS AWAY.

AS FOOLISH AS IT SOUNDS I FEEL IT IN MY HEART THAT THATS WHAT IT WAS FOR.

RECENTLY I BECAME ANGRY AT THE SELFISHNESS OF OTHERS AND TRUST ME WITH THAT SAME MEASURE THEY WILL PAY.

BUT WHEN I SPEND TIME BY MYSELF ALL OF THAT GOES AWAY.

IT LEAVES NO ROOM TO EVEN THINK ABOUT DRAMA FOR I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH OF IT ALREADY...

IM HAPPY FOR SOME ODD REASON TOO....

ITS ALL SO WEIRD BUT I KNOW ITS CHANGE!!!!!!!!!

AND I LIKE IT!!!!!