" MOTHERS DAY WITHOUT HER"

IT WAS BETWEEN ALL THE MOTHER'S DAY COLLECTION AT EVERY SINGLE STORE I WALKED INTO AND THE VENDERS SELLING BOUQUETS OF FLOWERS IN THE STREET THAT MY TEARS ROLLED DOWN MY CHEEKS ONCE AGAIN.

REMINISCING THE LAST TIME I GOT TO HUG HER AND RUBBING MY ARMS PRETENDING IT WAS HER SKIN I WAS TOUCHING AGAIN.

I KNOW THAT IM ABLE TO BARE IT BECAUSE MY GOD DOESNT GIVE ME NOTHING I CANT BARE I KNOW THAT BECAUSE HIS WORD SAYS IT SO.

I COULDNT HELP BUT TO GET JEALOUS AT THE FACT THAT OTHER PEOPLE GOT THE CHANCE TO SPEND MOTHERS DAY WITH THEIR MOMS AND I WAS NOT ABLE TO DO THE SAME.

IN MY BATHROOM WHICH IS NOT INDIFFERENT TO MY CRIES I WAS FILLED IN ANGER AND IN MY ANGER I STARTED TO QUESTION GOD FOR HIS ACTIONS.

I KNEW THAT I WAS WRONG FOR THAT BUT MY LIPS WERE MOVING SO FAST I COULD NOT STOP MYSELF.

SO MANY EMOTIONS RAN INSIDE ME I FELT I WAS TURNING BIPOLAR..

IT DIDNT HELP EITHER THAT THE NIGHT BEFORE MY SISTER AND I WENT TO A MOTHERS DAY DANCE IN WHICH THEY SANG ONE OF MY MOTHERS FAVORITE SONG.

I CRIED IN MY TABLE WISHING THAT I COULD HAVE HAD THE CHANCE TO SPEND THE DAY WITH HER MAKING HER FEEL SPECIAL LIKE SHE ALWAYS HAS BEEN..

MOTHERS DAY WAS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AND ON A SERIOUS NOTE I WISH THAT DAY WILL NEVER COME AGAIN.

ALTHOUGH MY FEELINGS ARE CONSEALED TO MANY ONLY MY HANDFUL OF FRIENDS KNOW MY HEART....... AND IM KEEPING IT THAT WAY....